6 months ago today

how do i even begin to sum up the last year and a half? the prayers for you, the expectation, the privilege of carrying you for 9 months, finally meeting you face to face, and now the last 6 months of getting to know you and learning you and experiencing everything about you - everything a 6 month old has to offer, at least, which happens to be a whole heck of a lot! how do you sum all of this up? you can't really.

6 months ago today i was exhausted.....and elated.....and blessed beyond words!!! 6 months ago today i met you for the first time, sweet girl, and i was in love!!! don't get me wrong, i was in love with you before i even met you in person - i fell in the love the first time i heard that tiny and precious heartbeat. we didn't know you as audrey at that point but we knew you were there, we knew you were ours, and we knew we couldn't wait to meet you!!

when your dad and i got married 7 1/2 years ago we knew we shared the desire to have a family one day, we SO looked forward to having kids! we had been praying for you for a long time, audrey, trusting that the Lord heard our prayers and knew the desires of our hearts.....your middle name is HOPE for a reason!

Lam 3:21-26

yet this i call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

i say to myself, "the Lord is my portion;

therefore i will wait for him."

the Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord.

you are an amazing gift and testimony to God's grace and provision, audrey hope - not just to us but to so many around us. we had no idea that the Lord would bring us all the way to st louis, missouri, to start our family and we never could have guessed how He would go about doing it! in a million years we could not imagine how all of this would play out. isn't that part of the beauty of it, though? His plans are so much bigger than ours, sweet girl. as i remind myself of this now my prayer is that you will know this about your heavenly Father - He has your best interest in mind and the way you WANT things to work out won't always be the case, but His plan is amazing. the journey can be hard, patience can run thin, and it can seem like your prayers aren't going past the ceiling but please don't doubt that He is in the middle of it all. after all, you are HIS.

audrey, i am enjoying every second with you. i miss you during the day and i look forward to seeing you every evening after work. the weekends when we're all together are fun - i can't wait for the weather to warm up a bit, though, so we can get you out and about. and by out and about i DO mean the zoo - believe me, as long as we are in st louis you will be very familiar with the zoo thanks to your dad! :)

it's fun watching your little personality develop. i must say you are a pretty happy, laid back little lady. we are so grateful (in a selfish way) but i pray you stay this way for a long time. the joy in your smiles, in your eyes, in your giggles, in your "chatting" - it's contagious! ps 28:7 "the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and i am helped. my heart leaps for joy and i will give thanks to him in song."

we are beyond words grateful for you.....grateful that the Lord has entrusted you to us.....grateful that we are able to walk this part of the journey with you. one of my prayers for you is that you know how deeply you are loved, that your dad and i can give you just a hint of the love your Father has for you.

my gifts don't lie in writing, but my hope is that a very small part of what is going on in my heart and mind right now comes through in this to you. 6 months.......oh sweet girl, what an absolute joy and privilege it is to be your mom! i am blessed beyond words!! i love you, i love you, i love you i do!