Sweet Tate

Today would have been Tates fifth birthday and I am again faced with the reality that he is gone. I have been putting off actually writing about him because it has been simply too hard. There are some who get philosophical about death and somehow think or rationalize it into something that we should be able to get our brains around rather quickly and incorporate into our every day lives. There are others that deny and move on and fill voids with other things or activities. I believe that I fall somewhere close to middle. I still cry regularly for Tate and think about him most anytime I am walking up to my front door or when I am walking Louis on the sidewalk next to where Tate died. I still catch myself looking into the window next to our front door with the anticipation of seeing his little nubby tail going back and forth so fast it is a blur.
To me Tate was the best friend I have ever had. I was loved better by my furry, sweet eyed dog with a beautiful underbite,than anyone else I've known. Tate was my companion and partner when we found out about Sonja's stomach surgery and during the long week when we thought that Sonja had cancer Tate was right there to snuggle close and be present with me. Once Sonja and I got our camera we took turns taking pictures of each other driving by with tate on our lap, head out on the window with his ears flapping. I would lean over and get kisses or what I call "tongue love" from Tate every morning and he would clean my ears for me too.
Interestingly, as I am writing this I have tears pouring down my face while suddenly a small rodent like dog name Louis is semi-barking at me to play with him and his nasty rawhide. Louis uses Tates food and water bowl and proudly carries on Tates love his duck. We still have tate's things and will let them go when the time is right. I think for me and for us the right time is something that I think is changing all the time. While we are blessed and thankful beyond words that our sweet Audrey is here I am sad that Audrey, our first child won't get to meet and grow with Tate whom we loved and love dearly. I am sad that Tate won't get to meet Audrey. We are slso very much in love with Louis who as you can see by the previous post is as a huge overwhelming heavy footed beast that is hard to keep under control.
I have been struck lately by the impact that pets and the losing them has on us. My brother and his family recently had to put their dog of twelve and a half years, another friend had a family dog die and I am sure there are others. I believe that God uses pets and yes...I'll say it...I believe dogs more so than others to show us what unconditional love looks and feels like. I always knew that no matter what Tate would greet me at the door as if he hadn't seen me in a month and couldn't wait for me to get home and Louis is beginning to do the same it just takes him longer to get to the door because of his little legs...
Tate was a gift to us. I don't understand why God took him, I don't like it that God took him, I will continually grieve for Tate and I'll continue to cry when necessary. I believe that when Jesus returns the old will be made new and that the broken world that we live in will be brought back to what God intended it to be. If things will be returned to their perfect state it would seem that Tate whom God used to love me would also be renewed. Is there any theological basis for Tate being in heaven...no. Would it be in line with God's character to renew and restore that which he created so perfectly before...I think so. My theory is that the Lord will either restore our dogs and pets that provided us such deep joy or heaven will be so over the top that we won't know to miss the Tates and the Tonkas that walked through so much life with us and provided such comfort and companionship.
I am thankful for Tate and I miss him terribly...Happy Birthday tater toter